There are more than 90 million unmarried women of school age in China, and the ＂leftover women＂ are a shame. Family members： they are guilty if they don’t get married
Master’s degree, doctor’s degree and executive, all of which were synonymous with social elites, but once they became female masters, doctors and executives, it was a bit meaningful.
Especially those who are highly educated and devote themselves to their careers,Thus, women who missed the so-called "traditional" best age for marriage were crowned as "leftover women" by some netizens.
The word "leftover women" means being chosen and rejected, which is a malicious expression for unmarried women.
Nowadays, with the progress of society and the improvement of women’s education level, more and more women have new requirements for their future life and their other half.
Some people think that,It is better to get married than to abuse it. Since there is no suitable partner, why not enjoy the chic of being single?
Obviously, marriage is not the only need for women to grow up. Today, there are more than 90 million single women in China, who have chosen independence and career at the age of marriage.
However, it is not easy to stick to this choice.
The documentary "The Leftover Women in China" reveals the struggle and helplessness of the intellectual women in China between freedom and secularism.
According to the introduction of the film, single intellectual women in China, if27 years oldIf you are not married in the future, you will be crowned."leftover women"The name of.In the marriage and love market, such women are often the object of criticism.
They are single for different reasons, but they are similar.Have a career that can make you independent, and all have very high academic qualifications.
Higher education, independent economic base,It is decided that in the matter of marriage, they will not make haste.And what this documentary shows us is moreThe dilemma faced by single women.
The main characters of this documentary are three mature women from big cities. They all have enviable jobs, but they are not married in their late thirties for various reasons.
Under the pressure of society and family, some of them choose to compromise, some choose to resist, and some choose to be silent.
Hua Mei, a young lawyer, is a child who came out of the countryside through the college entrance examination. She has worked hard in big cities for many years, and her views on marriage are very different from those of her parents and family.
As the most promising child in the family, she was once the pride of her parents.But now it has become the most unpromising person in the family mouth.
Huamei was born in the countryside, and her parents’ ideas are very old. Their times are catching up with family planning, and a family is basically one or two children.
Huamei’s home is her two daughters with her sister. Because she has no son, her parents have suffered from the gossip of the villagers.
However, parents are very kind to the two sisters and are not influenced by outsiders. The father is even more determined to let his children study hard and be admitted to the university, so as to show outsiders that girls can also make a difference.
My family conditions are limited, and my sister’s study is really not good. My sister who didn’t go to college got married very early.
And Huamei became the hope of parents.A few years after she was admitted to the university, her parents were really proud.
After graduating from college, Huamei stayed in Beijing on her own and became the envy of everyone, and she became the pride of her family.However, as Huamei got older, the family began to urge marriage.
Huamei’s lawyer work is very busy, and my personality is also very independent and strong, which is caused by various reasons.She remained single until she was thirty-four.
My sister’s children have run all over the place, but Huamei has not found a suitable object yet, and her parents are extremely anxious.She also changed from the pride of her family to the shame of her family.
Sister Hua Mei
Family think, don’t marry an old maid to stay at home is very shameful, my sister even said:"If you don’t get married, you should go to jail."
Because of the problem of being single, Huamei began to be reluctant to go home, and even tried to arrange things for herself on holidays. At this time, in the eyes of the family,Not getting married is like being inferior. Not getting married is unfilial and violates social morality.
These shackles in the name of family make Huamei breathless. I used to have an enviable job, high income and good welfare, but I became a sinner in the eyes of my parents just because I didn’t get married.
Parents’ attitude and sister’s harsh words all hurt the heart of this strong and independent girl since childhood.
Facing the camera, she couldn’t help crying. At this point, the home has become a thorn bush full of thorns. Every time I come home, I’m scarred,She can only choose to escape.
The second hero is Xiao Min, a radio anchor, a native of Shanghai who has a car and a house. He has been in love several times and ended up dead.
Xiaomin’s family conditions are much better than Huamei’s, but she is also deeply troubled by urging marriage, and the biggest pressure also comes from her family.
She is the only daughter in the family. Since childhood, her parents have arranged everything for her, and her mother’s personality is relatively strong, so she has developed her weak personality.Everything is habitually subject to the opinions of parents.
Especially when it comes to getting married,Parents’ request is to find a good financial condition.,Those who are suitable and not registered in Shanghai will not be considered, nor will those with poor economic conditions be considered.
But what is often shown is that,Those with good conditions despise Xiao Min, while those with poor conditions despise each other. They have been picking and choosing for many years, and finally they have not found a suitable one.
In the eyes of parents, economic conditions always come first. It doesn’t seem so important whether my daughter likes it or not. In my mother’s words"I’m doing it for your own good" and "Can I still harm you?".
Xiaomin, who has been habitually obedient since childhood, has little say in his lifelong events.
In fact, she has talked about boyfriends several times before, but once parents and boyfriends have conflicts, she often stands on her parents’ side. At this point, there may be a big reason why many times I fell in love with her ended in vain.
Without your own opinions and knowing how to fight for yourself, the road to marriage is doomed to be difficult. Marriage is a matter between two people, and marriage is not only about material conditions, but also about feelings.
Perhaps what Xiaomin lacks is the courage to fight for himself, and what he likes is the most appropriate. Marriage is not a negotiation, a business, or a price negotiation between two parties.Feelings are never things that can be clearly priced.
If we don’t figure this out, marriage is bound to be very difficult. Even if you are barely together, there will be various contradictions in your marriage life.
The third protagonist is Gaiqi, who is also over 30 years old. Gaiqi, who has been in love for several times, has never found her other half.
Gaiqi, who was born in the countryside and had a heavy family burden, became an assistant professor at the Film Academy through her own efforts. She is financially independent and lives a leisurely life. At her age, it is very good to have such achievements.
However, she was overwhelmed by various problems at home. Without the burden of family, Gaiqi can live well on her own.
However, the real blow made her really unable to bear the economic pressure and the responsibility of taking care of her parents.
Three people, three different families and three different lives are the most true portrayal of the living conditions of contemporary older women.
China has been a human society since ancient times. Up to now, almost no one can get rid of society and exist. Being single or not is not just your own business.
China people pay attention to inheritance. They want grandchildren when they have sons, and great grandchildren when they have grandchildren.People are getting old in the expectation of this generation.
Children are not only the blood inheritance of parents, but also their hopes for the future. Most children are also dependent on their parents in their old age.
No Country for Old Men is a very serious matter for China people.Therefore, many people advocate more children and more happiness.
This means that,If you want to stay single, you have to fight against the vast majority of people and the inheritance of the Millennium.
As long as you are older than.Twenty-five years old, even just in his early twenties,There will be all kinds of relatives and friends to introduce you to the object. If you are single and don’t accept other people’s kindness, then you are waiting for others’ complaints or even insults.
In the movie "If You Are the One", Shu Qi once asked:"Is it illegal to be single?"
Even if she plays a single and independent stewardess in the play, she will be ridiculed by others and even intimidated by her family.
Yes, for older single women,Being single is an urgent problem to be solved.
Wang Manni in Nothing But Thirty has a decent job and a high income, but he still hopes to live the life of a master through marriage.
At the age of thirty, she had to accept the arrangement of her parents and make blind dates with civil servants in small cities. Although the blind date didn’t succeed in the end, she was still very anxious about being single and eager to marry herself quickly.
Drama comes from life, and the discussion on the problem of leftover women in countless movies and TV dramas is all verified.Older single women, how unfriendly this society is.
Similarly, at the end of the documentary, the aforementionedUnder the pressure of life, the three protagonists had to make a choice.
Hua Mei, a female lawyer, chose to study abroad. She didn’t want to live in a dispute with her family, and the pressure was too great.
Not getting married is like a crime, and my sister’s words are circulating in her mind all the time.This has seriously affected her normal life.
Choosing to go abroad is just to escape temporarily.Maybe she can find someone who appreciates herself in a foreign country.
It seems helpless to be forced to move away from home, but this time Huamei is not alone, and her stubborn father supported her this time, which made her feel somewhat comforted.
Radio anchor Xiaomin didn’t want to put up with her mother’s strength any more. She began to reflect on her own problems and hoped that her mother would let her decide her own life.
Although her resistance caused her mother’s strong dissatisfaction, and even the two had a fierce argument, after all, she took the first step, hoping that in the future, she could firmly maintain her own opinions.
For children, it is also a compulsory course in life for parents to learn to let go. Excessive intervention by parents leads to children’s excessive dependence on their parents, which makes them unable to have independent ideas.
The most important sign of maturity is independence. I am still a child, so I can’t talk about starting a family and being someone else’s parents.
However, unlike Hua Mei and Xiao Min, Gai Qi finally chose to compromise.It took her a year to get married..
Her husband met on a blind date, and his family is also in the countryside. Gaiqi said that she had already owed too much foreign debt for her parents. Getting married can relieve her stress.
However, Gaiqi’s age was rejected by her husband’s family, because her husband was younger than Gaiqi. My mother-in-law has said many times that she is too old.Tell her not to tell her real age to her relatives and friends.
Even so, after one year of marriage, Gaiqi had her own children. Now her family of three is full of vitality because of the arrival of children.
At this point, who can say that Gaiqi is unhappy?Isn’t that how most of us get here?
From this documentary, we see the three protagonists struggling with life.It is not easy for single women to survive in society.
Being single certainly has many conveniences,Life is more free and there are fewer disputes in the process of getting along, but staying single requires great pressure.
One of the biggest pressures is from the family, which can make parents accept being single.It is the biggest challenge for the "leftover women".
A woman who is urged to get married
In this regard, some netizens think that being single does not mean failure. On the contrary, being able to bravely choose being single is the brave embodiment of modern independent women, and single women should be respected and protected.
The higher the degree of social development, the higher people’s economic level, and the less dependence on their families.
This is why high-end people, entertainment stars, and the elites of these societies are the "hardest hit areas" for leftover women.
Because they don’t have to rely on anyone, they can live a good life. Being single even saves them a lot of trouble in human relations. They can choose to raise children or not, which is not a problem for them.
They enjoy the convenience and freedom brought by being single. If marriage can’t bring happiness and make their life better, why choose to get married?
Faye Yu, 52, is still single, and she doesn’t think marriage is necessary. She enjoys being single very much.
And she firmly believes that staying single can make her life more free and exciting, and she can enjoy life better.
Single women like Faye Yu are even more independent and strong than ordinary men.
Therefore, age can’t be a limiting factor for a person. Some people may get married at the age of 20, and some people may still be elegant single women at the age of 60, and marriage is not the only choice.
With the increasing tolerance of our society, perhaps in the future,"Leftover women" is no longer the object of discrimination or crusade.
The higher the civilization of society, the more diverse society will be. There is not only one choice for people’s lifestyle.Marriage is only an option, but not choosing marriage does not mean that our life is unhappy..
The social system will be more and more perfect, medical care will be more and more convenient, and old-age care will no longer be a problem. You can live a good life by your own personal accumulation.
Without secular standards, perhaps feelings will become more pure, and people’s happiness index will certainly be higher and higher.
What do you think of "leftover women"? Let’s share it in the comments section ~
(The pictures and story materials are all from the Internet. Unauthorized reprinting is prohibited! ) # Summer Creation Competition #
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